(Peter slowly raises up a comic book into his line of sight while he is driving.)
Peter (to himself): "Hehehehehe.....Look at all those hamburgers. You can't eat all those hamburgers, you stupid fella (car veers off the road). Oh geeze! (Peter swerves the car back on the road and then slowly raises up the comic book again). Uh! He's gonna do it! Oh he is SO ridiculous--you hear me, you ridiculous man?" (Car crashes into tree.)

 

Tricia Takanawa: Diane, I'm standing outside the Park Barrington Hotel because they don't allow Asians inside.

 

Congressman: There is no just cause for an invasion of Iraq.
Peter: Well that may be, but what were all forgetting is anyone that doesn't want to go to war is gay.
Congressman:I want to go to war.
Congressman:I want to go to war.
All of Congress:I want to go to war.
Dick Cheney:I was the first one who wanted to go to war.

 

Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High Quotes

 

Gym Teacher: Most of the time, the kids play out in the field, but if its raining or I'm hungover, they stay inside and play dodgeball.
Peter: Aw I love dodgeball, Heads up! (Throws ball at man)
Home Ec Teacher: This week in home ec, we're teaching your kids how to make bundt cakes.
Peter: Aw I love bundt cakes, Heads up! (Throws a bundt cake at man)
Band Teacher: The school band offers a variety of instruments from the kettle drum to the trombone.
Peter: Aw I love the trombone! (Man is bracing himself)
(Peter does a trombone solo)
(Applause)
Peter: Heads up! (Throws trombone at man)

 

Stewie: "You know what else is disgusting?" (He farts and his right eye turns red.) "Oh d***, I broke a blood vessel."

 

 (Stewie covering up the dead body of Mr. Lockhart by hiding in his blood-covered suit as a police officer drives up)
Officer: "Everything alright here?"
Stewie: "Oh fine officer, just enjoying the sunset. No law against that, is there?"
Officer: "What happened to your shirt?"
Stewie: "Oh you know, just a pizza party at the office."
Officer: "Oh yeah, where do you work?"
Stewie: "First Fidelity Insurance over on Wayne Bossert Street."
Officer: "Oh my cousin Arnie works over there."
Stewie: "Oh Arnie's your cousin is he?"
Officer: "You know him?"
Stewie: "Oh somewhat, good middle management type. Jjust sort of blends in with the furniture, though, never really wowed anyone at the office."
Officer: "Yeah, that's always been Arnie's problem. Well, take it easy."
Stewie: "Yes yes, you too. Oh and if you see Arnie, tell him 'boogity boogity boo.' He'll know what it means."

 

Blind Ambition Quotes

 

God: Here, let me light that for you, babe.
(Zap with Thunderbolt to the cigarette)
Girl: Hey, thanks!
God: Yep, magic fingers (chuckles).
(Zap with Thunderbolt to the girl incinerating her.)
God: Jesus Christ!
Jesus: What?
God: Get the Escalade! We're outta here!

 

Tom Tucker: Coming up, Diane's weight.

 

Don't Make Me Over Quotes

 

(Meg walks in after getting a make-over)
Meg: Look everybody I got a makeover!!
Peter: Aw, Meg I thought you were always beautiful...(starts bursting out laughing). It's hard to say that with a straight face. (Continues laughing.)